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Friday, October 20, 2006
I'm Hungry. Someone Bring Me A Danish.
Alright. Aliecat asked for a new post on the grounds that seeing the word Vagisil has the affect of making a Sahara out of a moist fun time, and seeing as I can't really argue with that I am going to take one for the team, and post. Even though I have absolutely nothing to post about because I've been going insane at work trying to finish up three contracts, get a patent application finalized, and some other crap that's not really worth bitching about.
I guess I could talk about the most lowly creature in this world: men.
Basically, this week I've fallen off the face of the earth and have literally moved into my office on account of all the shit I have to do. Shockingly, when one falls off the face of the earth they pretty much no longer have contact with people who are merrily prancing upon the earth; however, that fact is so easily overlooked when you're prancing along enjoying the scenery.
I haven't been to practice in a week and a half, and yet that is totally fine. I haven't talked to the guy I've been pseudo half-assedly seeing [or in my words, hanging out with] for that entire week and a half either, and that is not cool at all. Rather than be like "Yo, bitch. What the fuck?" two days into my sabbatical from existence, he waited until last night to pull out the big guns:
"I don't know what I did, or anything, but I just wanted to apologize." To which I said, "Huh?" "Well, I sent you an e-card last Thursday, a text message last Friday, a text message last Monday afternoon, and I heard nothing for 6 days. If you don't want to talk to me anymore, that's cool."
Men. I'm only going to give you this nugget of awesome information once, so put down your dick any pay attention.
YOU CANNOT PULL THE PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE GUILT FACTOR WITH A WOMAN.
Did you get that? Did you internalize it? Put it on a piece of paper. Tattoo it on your fucking forehead, do whatever you have to do, just DO NOT! forget that. You will never, ever, ever, be able to get a straight answer from a woman if you pull that passive aggressive bullshit with us. Why? Because unless we did something egregiously wrong, there's no way in hell we'll take such action as anything other than you being a spineless, needy, fucker. Why? Because that's how we women folk roll, and that's how we get what we want from you men folk; therefore, we are more hip to your little "game" than you ever could possibly be and you won't beat us at the game we have not only perfected, but have made into an art such that the passive aggressive guilt we seed in your head is seemingly nothing more than your own ideas.
Bottom line: Don't play mind games with a Jedi mind fucking master. Women are the Jedi mind fucking masters, so just don't even bother men.
kitty kat spoke at 7:00 AM
and
7 people united to combat the evil fucking care bear stare
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