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Tuesday, November 07, 2006
Hookahlakaniki You Know You Want To Lay Me
If you're an idiot, don't pay attention, or just have never read this blog before, I will repeat for the sake of glorious repetition that I'm Hawaiian.
Yup. I come from the islands, and no I don't wear grass skirts unless I'm provoked. Regardless, it dawned on me that I've been a rather shitty blog host, in that I haven't invited you in to see the culture of mah peepz. Thus, I have assembled a few choice phrases that may come in handy should you find yourself traveling to the islands. Enjoy!
On The Plane:
- I am filled with admiration for my in-flight meal.
- Kahaha ko'u na'au i ke 'ano o ka mea 'ai ma keia mokulele.
- Baby, Severe Turbulance is my middle name.
- E ku'u kumu e, mai hopohopo, ua kapa 'ia ko'u inoa waena, 'o ia 'o Severe Turbulance.
Customs:
- Yes I have something to declare, "I need a shower!"
- 'Ae, he mea ko'u e ho'ike aku ai, "He pono no ka ho'i ke 'au'au kililau!"
- Hold me, I am feeling faint.
- E pa'a puliki mai, 'ane'ane ko'u maka i ka poniuniu.
At The Hotel:
- This is a wonderful room for a dwarf.
- He lumi maika'i keia e ku pololei ana i ke kanaka peke.
- Thank you for this bed that will fit my leg.
- Mahalo nui loa ia 'oe, ua loa'a mai kahi moe kupono o ka nui no ko'u wawae 'akau wale no!
- This view of your parking lot is incredible!
- He kuikawa ka 'ikena o kela wahi ho'oku ka'a e waiho kala'e ihola ma 'o!
- It's a lovely gift, now please unwrap the toilet seat.
- A 'o ia, he makana maika'i loa keia; aka, nau no e ho'ohemo i ka wahi pepa ma luna o ka noho lua la, ke 'olu'olu.
- Fine Dining:
- These really nice napkins seem to match my underclothing.
- Ku maika'i keia mau kawele pepa i ke 'ano o ko'u 'a'ahu palema'i.
- This Merlot is an ungrateful bitch.
- He kanapapiki mahalo 'ole keia mea inu Merlot ia'u.
- Waiter, my papaya has been previously fondled.
- E ke kuene, ua milimili 'e 'ia neia mikana!
- The busboy has cursed me and I am ashamed.
- Ua ho'ohalahala 'ia mai nei au na ke kuene, a hilahila ihola au.
For The Doctor: - Can wearing a thong and running on the beach cause a rash like this?
- Ua pili anei keia 'ohune i ke komo hawele li a me ka holo wawae ma kahakai?
- Dammit man, what the hell kind of a doctor are you anyway?
- E ke kamipulu, pehea la kou 'ano kauka 'ana mai?
There you have it. Happy travels!
kitty kat spoke at 9:06 PM
and
3 people united to combat the evil fucking care bear stare
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